How To Make Big Life Changing Decisions

Making serious decisions (for example, how you are going to work for the rest of your life) is a very difficult problem for many people. They come to me and say: “I need to decide what to do for the rest of my life!”

To begin, I ask: “What do you want to do tomorrow?” People always look at me with an absent look and say: “Well, tomorrow I have to go to work …” I interrupt: “I didn’t ask about that. I asked, what are you going to do tomorrow? Even if you only have an hour between one job and another, what are you going to do in your free time? If you can’t plan how to be happy for an hour, then how are you going to plan it for the rest of your life? ”

People always tell me that they want to win the lottery, because once they get millions of dollars they will be happy. But I know a lot of very rich people who are still miserable. If a thousand dollars does not make you happy, then what happiness will bring you a million?

Sometimes it seems to people that the life of the rich is much simpler, but perhaps everything happens the other way around. With an unlimited amount of money, you would have to make many more decisions about what you are going to do, how to save your money and how to spend it. You need to decide who you can trust and who you can’t.

Others may say: “I want to travel the world!” But isn’t it possible to make short trips and get pleasure from it. If you leave your own home and go to India, this trip does not necessarily give you great pleasure, especially if you can not tolerate unfamiliar surroundings and will not know what to do. Traveling is a thing that requires skill, like so much more. One should learn this in small steps, achieve success, and then take big steps.

No need to be determined to go on a journey of fifteen years. Go somewhere for a couple of weeks and if you like it, next time go for a month. Plan your own pleasure from the trip. The source of pleasure is not a travel agency. The source of pleasure is the ability to see oneself in this situation. You’ve seen enough movies and TV shows and talked to enough people to know what to do.

If you just go abroad and behave like a regular tourist, you don’t necessarily enjoy it. Some people like to travel in buses, because there you can talk to other people. And there are those who can not tolerate buses. You have to decide what you enjoy. Knowing what you like, you can plan your trip and go to it.

You need to be able to dream. What surprises me is that people making a career never follow others doing the same work. I asked medical students if they were ever in the hospital. They were surprised: “Why?” – “Because you want to become doctors! – I answered. – Before moving on to private practice, you will have to work in a hospital for several years. Maybe you will stay there for life. Wouldn’t it be right to know if you really want to do this? And if you want to become a doctor, just to be a rich person, then why work so hard? ”There are many less complicated ways to become rich.

The idea that something that you achieve will make you happy, wrong in the root. If you choose your profession for life, it is better to choose what you really like, and not something that will allow two weeks a year to get real pleasure.

Weighing good and bad decisions, do not consider them as static images or a set of such images. This is a very long day-to-day film. If you are going to find a job, you will have to get up in the morning and do it all day. If the work does not give you at least a potential pleasure, you have serious problems. Work must bear various fruits, not only money, but also satisfaction.

I believe that people decide too quickly on the choice of work. The reason they can’t make the right choice is because they don’t have at least five good choices. The choice made is not based on sufficient experience. You need to talk to the people who do this and find out what they do every day. People want to go somewhere, but you need to know what awaits them upon arrival.

I spent my first independent vacation in Mexico. On the way there I met quite rich spouses. We drove in a caravan of fourteen cars. All the way, the woman said that she wanted to buy blankets in Mexico. By the time we arrived, I was obsessed with buying a blanket. I thought that for this and go to Mexico. When I was there, there was so much interesting around. I broke away from the caravan, because these people wanted only to buy – to buy handicrafts, statues, strange hats. I didn’t need all this. I discovered a whole world that I could enjoy.

I enjoyed just talking to people. Even if they didn’t speak English, I enjoyed listening to them. I didn’t speak Spanish well, but by the time I got back, I spoke much better. If you listen to people carefully, they are easy to understand. English and Spanish are very similar. In Spanish “attention” is “athension”, and in English – “attenuation”. If you listen carefully and observe people, pay attention to what they like in this place, a much wider choice of activities appears.

Building ambitious plans that will be carried out over the years, do not take the time for this. Try to see yourself in a similar situation. Imagine what will happen. When you find yourself in a situation, you will understand that something is happening better than you imagined, and that is good. It is possible that something will be worse, and this should be avoided.


1. Think about the decision you have to make. Highlight submodalities. Check with which previously formed set they match – with the submodalities of the right or wrong decision.
2. Present the various potential results of each solution. Scroll your “movie” into the future, try to see the influence of each decision on your whole life.
3. Review the “movies” for each solution and select the one that best suits you.
4. Consider all the negative consequences of this decision. Determine how you will deal with them.

You will notice that, having gained motivation, you will begin to receive what you want and what you need. The stronger your hope and joy will be in relation to the future, the stronger you will wait for it and the more you expect from the future, the easier it will be for you to organize your perceptions, feelings and your whole life. The future is full of possibilities. The more you attract to yourself that which makes your life better, the sooner you will realize that much more good is waiting for you than you could imagine.

And if you need more help with making big decisions, click this link.